Gruve thing

Gruve Thing

By Beth Nervig

Days One through Six:
Vegas, baby
I am in day six of my Gruve test week, and I am currently mid-flight on my way to Las Vegas for a family vacation. Las Vegas probably isn’t the ideal place to start a health-conscious endeavor. Mainly, people just sit at casino tables and drink. This should be interesting. Starting my Gruve program the day before Christmas Eve may not have been the smartest move either. I have spent the last five days eating gingerbread men and watching re-runs of “A Christmas Story.” My Gruve has been buzzing on my hip all week. As I understand it, this is its only way of telling me I am lazy and should get up off my butt. I have recently begun the habit of shaking my hip in retaliation whenever my Gruve buzzes, which I think is the reason why the lady next to me on our flight keeps asking me if I need to use the restroom.

Day 12: Phoenix, babies
I left Las Vegas the other day, and I’m now at my sister’s house in Phoenix. Life is chaotic at best. There are two babies, my niece Olivia (7 months) and my nephew Charlie (1 month), two boxer dogs, two cats and seven adults. I’ve only been here one day and I already feel like I’m constantly bending over to pick up some roving child or animal. On our extra-long family walk outside, I held Charlie in the Baby Bjorn, and I’m hoping his wriggling helped me to meet today’s green goal. Is it selfish to use a baby to meet exercise requirements? Nah.

Day 15: Guilty conscience
I’ve recently noticed that my Gruve has become my athletic conscience. Whenever it buzzes, I feel chastised and internally embarrassed, thankful that the world can’t see my calorie-burning failure. My secret fear is that I have the same Gruve calorie goal as a bedridden 80-year-old. When my Gruve steadily vibrated the whole plane ride back to the frozen tundra of Minnesota, I couldn’t help but picture myself spending the next several months curled up on my couch, safe from the blizzarding winds, void of all athletic movement.

Day 19: Taking Ames
I headed back to school in Ames today, and made the mandatory Target and Hy-Vee stops before driving three hours and unloading my car. I am a little surprised that I hit my Gruve goal today, but I think it means that my Gruve future is bright. If all it takes is running a couple of errands to hit my daily goal, then reaching my Gruve goal back at school should be a cinch.

Day 21: Orange crush
In a strange twist of events, I worked out! Seriously. This never happens. I decided it’s about time I actually put my Gruve to work. I ran one mile and expected my Gruve to be shining bright green as I left the Rec Center. I’m crushed it only glowed a feeble orange.

Day 25: Smooth skating
By now, I have explained to all of my friends about my Gruve experiment. Instead of asking me “What’s up?” they now ask, “What color are you at?” They have become obsessed with my Gruve and mock me according to how far I am from each day’s goal. In the Gruve spirit, we decided to try some old-fashioned fun tonight—a roller rink. When we arrived, we were the only people over the age of 10, besides moms. The kids looked at us as if we had just ignored the 4-foot height limit at the McDonald’s Play Zone. But who knew roller skating could be so fun? We chicken-danced. Played dodge ball on skates. There was even a “couples skate” under the disco ball.

Day 26: 722!
I had my best day yesterday. 722 calories burned. Apparently, roller skating has been the key to calorie-burning all along. Somehow, I think people might be creeped out if I became the only roller-rink regular who wasn’t in middle school. Instead, I went and played basketball at the gym today. I realized that my Gruve has become a literal voice in my head, pushing me to either physically exercise or turn simple daily activities into calorie-burners. For example, I danced while making supper tonight. Talk about multi-tasking.

Day 28: Goal’s growing
So I’m not totally reformed because I counted two laps and five reps on a machine as my workout during my Gruve photo shoot. Worse yet, I noticed that my green goal has increased. It’s practically unattainable. It’s like when my dad taught me how to crawl by placing the remote control further and further from my reach.

Day 30: Grooving
I am a leader for an Iowa State University charity event called Dance Marathon, which means that it has been my job for the past year to recruit a team and help them raise $200 to dance for 15 hours on January 23, with all proceeds going to a local Iowa children’s hospital. As a leader, I wear a different costume for each of the 15 hours and bounce around like a crazy person to help keep my team motivated. Did I mention that sitting is illegal at this event? Thus, I’ve been running around all week trying to make 15 costumes. Now, not only do my roommates think I’m crazy for talking to my Gruve, but I’ve been working on various costumes all week including: a giant person-sized moon, a giant ear of corn, a giraffe, and Peter Pan. On the upside, my Gruve goals are sky-rocketing since I simply haven’t stopped moving in days. I’ve even been running to the bathroom just to save time.

Day 31: Marathon moment
Dance Marathon is one day away. I have to be there by 6 a.m. and I won’t be going home until around 2 a.m. I fully expect my Gruve to explode from overuse. I’m hoping to break some sort of Gruve goal world record. Part of me feels like Dance Marathon will be my ultimate vindication, payback after weeks and weeks of being a Gruve-buzz-inducing couch potato.

Day 32: Aftermath
Dance Marathon is over. I am too exhausted to write. I think I am only alive thanks to Red Bull, pure adrenaline, and the smiles of all the sick kids that were dancing with us all day. My body feels like someone has pummeled it repeatedly with baseball bats. My Gruve hit green around 11 a.m. and I kept jumping and dancing for about 13 more hours.

Day 33: Counting calories, and counting to 1,500
I burned more than 1,500 calories yesterday! I feel like that number should be higher. My body no longer feels like it was pummeled by baseball bats. It now feels like I was run over multiple times by a semi-truck. My Gruve keeps buzzing when I try to nap. Doesn’t it know that I practically set the Iowa Gruve calorie record yesterday? Someone needs to alert my Gruve that it should take a couple of days off. My exercise conscience needs a break.

Day 35: Buzz kill
Another great Iowa storm means I have done nothing all day. Surprisingly, my Gruve hasn’t been buzzing as frequently. This either means that it got the memo that I need a break or it has actually helped train me to move around more. Even when I’m at work or sitting at home, I now move around enough to evade the shameful buzz.

Day 40: 40 days and nights, one valuable lesson
It is my last officially counted Gruve day. I have to admit I’ll miss the little guy. I have become calorie-burning obsessed. I forgot to wear my Gruve yesterday, but I went to kickboxing class anyway. This action would have been unheard of for me pre-Gruve. In the doldrums of the winter months this tiny device has become an angel on my shoulder making sure that I don’t become a cabin-fevered lump of laziness.